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The resulting highs and lows, drama, and rejection are enough to convince anyone that their fears are true and either they or their relationship is fatally flawed.I’ve written many articles on the topic of He’s Amazing and Still Single! (part 1) and He’s Amazing and Still Single and What She Can Do About it (part 2).They are more likely responding to a personal core fear that was triggered by the situation.For example, their frustration with a partner being frequently late may be more about the fear of being powerless, embarrassed, taken for granted, or mistreated than it is about the other’s tardiness.
Whether pressure is created internally or felt externally from others, it usually amplifies the fears of the anxiously attached and shuts down the emotions of the avoidantly attached.As a marriage counselor for 17 years, and now as a dating coach, I’ve spent years helping singles and couples solve dating and relationship issues.The most common pattern I observe is that of singles getting trapped in anxious or avoidant attachment patterns (click here to Discover if you act anxious, avoidant, or secure in relationships).Not only do these thinking errors increase anxiety but they also contribute to driving singles to act in more anxious or avoidant ways.Recognizing these and other thinking errors is critical to discerning the difference between irrational thoughts and balanced thoughts.
This underlying force can push some singles for perfection and success in their religious worship, educational goals, and career choices, while also unwittingly make them act needy, intense, critical, or unreachable in dating.