Intimidating women to men
I’d love to say that I woke up one day and realized all of this on my own.But actually, it was my therapist who offhandedly made the connection that the qualities I liked best about myself were the ones that were intimidating to the men I was dating.The men who I wanted to be dating, on the other hand, wouldn’t call me for a second date, because they’re men who like forthright, independent, complicated women — and that’s not who I was being.
And in talking to my queer friends, I found that this phenomenon seems to mainly occur in heterosexual relationships.I quit hiding parts of myself from my dates so that they could really tell who I was, and this made me a better dater in a lot of ways.It allowed me to fully discuss my standards and what I was looking for.) I got a whole slew of responses, but versions of the same question kept popping up over and over again: I myself have been called intimidating a lot throughout my life.It all started with my father who, trying his hardest to console a weepy teenager who didn’t have a date to prom, told me that it wasn’t my fault that men didn’t want to date me. He totally meant it as a compliment — he’d raised a strong, outspoken young woman, and he knew it — so I tried to take it as such.
I believe that to a certain extent — I won’t open up and spill of my neuroses on the table right away, even though I overthink everything.