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The first time, you just opened yourself up and there it was. Even if you really would like to, your survival instincts won’t let that happen, and you must honor those. Your partner must prove to you, in every conceivable way, that he or she has changed. That is, your partner is so anxious to wish away all the bad in the relationship—which is understandable—that he/she may make you feel like he/she is more concerned with what he/she is getting out of it than what you are being offered.
The one person with whom it works proves to you, in the course of being together, that he or she really who you are.So what is it you’re receiving when you fall in love?You get a clear, bright, and shiny message of validation of yourself as a person.As you let him or her into your private self, your partner did the same.And what did you find inside your partner’s heart and soul? Although opposites do attract, the fundamental, deep-down attraction comes from a reflection of oneself.
Therefore, it’s impossible for them to validate you.